Author Information
Plaything
Thrown down roughly, my head bounces on the bed.
I watch events unfold through sight blurred by tears,
following the slow descent of large hands.
Tainted, I think. I'm tainted and dirty.
Imagining a place far from here, I shut my eyes.
I just want to be left alone...
That's where I've always been the happiest. Alone.
I drift off, no longer in this place. On this bed.
In my world, I don't have to hide behind closed eyes.
Here, there's no need for tears
and love is the only reason to feel my body touched by hands.
Here, in my world. I'm pure, not dirty.
It doesn't last long. I'm soon pulled back by the hands.
I don't get to stay in my happy world, all alone.
I have to live in the real world where I'm twisted and dirty.
I hate myself for every moment I don't run from the bed,
Hate my cowardly nature letting me do nothing but lay in tears.
However, no matter how hard I fight, sadness leaks from my eyes.
I can shut the world out and refuse to acknowledge reality with my eyes,
However touch doesn't lie. I always feel those hands
and the burning of the falling tears.
I catch my lip between my teeth, wondering why I'm so alone.
Not in reality, I always feel his presence with me on the bed,
But in my mind. I can imagine no one like this. This dirty.
That's all I am. My entire self is just horribly dirty.
My innocent facade for other's eyes
Is nothing but a lie. My true self is in this bed.
My true self lets my body be touched by tainted hands,
Just lays there, feeling horribly alone,
With my only solace being my own tears.
Because even though I know they're weak, I find comfort in my tears.
They're cleansing. The only thing that can make me feel slightly less dirty.
Just **** leave me alone!
The scream never comes, of course. I just shut my eyes
And wish my body wasn't being touched by his hands.
Wish I was anywhere but this goddamn bed.
I know I'm just a toy, but tears still fall from my eyes.
I'm just a dirty plaything for his pleasure. Something for his hands.
And finally, he's done with me and I'm left alone on this forsaken bed.
