A Part of Me

A part of me still loves you



And even if I wanted to stop



I couldn't



Not right away



A part of me is still holding on



To whatever is left



To whatever it is we had



A part of me wants to move on



But not to forget you



Only to stop hurting you with the distance I am tormenting us with



Part of me wish this could work



But in order to do that



I have to try and I can't because I emotionally feel that I have nothing left



I know you don't believe me when I tell you



I'm drained



Guess what?



I really am



A part of me still wants to offer my hand



Give up my body, heart, mind and soul



For you



Just to be with you one last time



Or to hold you



That would be enough for me



A part of me knows that if I end up with you again



Matters will only get worse because I know I am not worthy of your presence



My mind is mentally ill due to past damages and past mistakes



My heart is drained due to past efforts of trying to make something work and my body is badly tarnish due to past sexual experiences.



I'm no longer pure.



No longer an angel, I'm no where near saint.



It will take years to restore what I have lost.



A part of me believes you deserve better because I know old habits don't die young and that same part of me that wants to be with you, agrees that you could do better.



But no matter what happens



Just so you know



A part of me still wants to be your friend



At least to make up the years of damage by being there for you



To change slowly through friendship and grow into a better person



Maybe to change into someone more worthy enough to hold your hand and be called yours again



A part of me knows this is for the best



You don't agree with me now but someday you will see the bigger picture



A part of me still believes there is hope for you yet



And that same part believes there is hope for me too



Don't forget a part of me will always be here for you



A part of me is still here

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written to a past love.
(July 7, 2006)

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