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A Part of Me
A part of me still loves you
And even if I wanted to stop
I couldn't
Not right away
A part of me is still holding on
To whatever is left
To whatever it is we had
A part of me wants to move on
But not to forget you
Only to stop hurting you with the distance I am tormenting us with
Part of me wish this could work
But in order to do that
I have to try and I can't because I emotionally feel that I have nothing left
I know you don't believe me when I tell you
I'm drained
Guess what?
I really am
A part of me still wants to offer my hand
Give up my body, heart, mind and soul
For you
Just to be with you one last time
Or to hold you
That would be enough for me
A part of me knows that if I end up with you again
Matters will only get worse because I know I am not worthy of your presence
My mind is mentally ill due to past damages and past mistakes
My heart is drained due to past efforts of trying to make something work and my body is badly tarnish due to past sexual experiences.
I'm no longer pure.
No longer an angel, I'm no where near saint.
It will take years to restore what I have lost.
A part of me believes you deserve better because I know old habits don't die young and that same part of me that wants to be with you, agrees that you could do better.
But no matter what happens
Just so you know
A part of me still wants to be your friend
At least to make up the years of damage by being there for you
To change slowly through friendship and grow into a better person
Maybe to change into someone more worthy enough to hold your hand and be called yours again
A part of me knows this is for the best
You don't agree with me now but someday you will see the bigger picture
A part of me still believes there is hope for you yet
And that same part believes there is hope for me too
Don't forget a part of me will always be here for you
A part of me is still here
