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I'm tired of this half life, I either want to die or I want to have a future. I don't want any more of this half expecting and no life. I've been tempted to do it myself, there are any number of ways to end this torment, and it's not like anyone would truely miss me, or even know. I doubt anyone even reads these any more and yet here I am still writing.



What have I done to change the world, to make it better, nothing. How many people have I helped who actually knew who I was ... none ... what mark have I left behind ... not one. I'm already a ghost in this world, watching but not interacting, seeing but not doing, existing but not living ... I've got no life even if I tried ... no one would even know if I just vanished ... it would be easy.



I keep thinking about ending it and I come close, then I just hit the power button and become the ghost again ... what is your desire, what do you wish of me tonight ... let me be your slut, let me be the whore i am. I am just invisable, use me as you please ... this will be the last day I have so it doesn't matter how i feel I'm fine.