Schizophrenic's Dirge

I spoke my thoughts out loud

And told myself a sad thing.

I started to cry.

I told myself a funny thing

And laughed through the tears.

I talked about an irritation,

And I got angry.

Then I mentioned you,

And I grew calm again.

 

I put on a disguise as I walked outside,

But the world could see through my veneer.

I hid behind a windshield as if covering up a drink.

Then I pulled into your driveway,

And I was home.

 

We discussed misogyny and the history of the church,

All the way back to the story of Adam and Eve.

We discussed false idols and the Lazarus effect of fame.

You dazzled my mind before your body turned me on.

It was as if your mind were a road to your body.

And soon I found myself trading freedom for love.

It was then that we first began to serve one another.

 

I talked with you for hours and we

Took apart our thoughts

One at a time.

First you, and then me.

We took turns this way.

And then, when I failed you,

You quickly caught me.

And that was something

I called

Love.

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