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INNER CHILD
INNER CHILD
Written by Alana Cheng
My inner child is shaken as I can still remember feeling so broken, to the heart of how things would constantly be when I’d hear the screams of my mother and father, for them not to know that the sounds of their loud voices are mercilessly destroying their daughter, in the provoking wisdom of hellish existence that comes from my mother, there is nothing more than what sweet violence that would ever seem to come from any other, as I’ve only known all that I’ve known, even now that I’ve grown, that the inner child in me, that comes with the utmost trauma, of hearing the nonstop arguments that have broken me, I know who it is that usually tends to start the drama, as I’ve never grown in an environment of constant peace, and crying so constantly by the piercing noise of such screaming words, have only been my way, of even to no help to anyone, of my own little feel of release, to scream for it all to stop, but it’s only the ballon of such peaceful resolving of anything that none other than only my mother and father would only tend to constantly pop, as I’ve only grown and I’ve only truly known, nothing if not everything, of the constant peace and joy that I’ve always longed to feel, but the emotional violence of such verbal words of hurt, were the only thing that ever came as close to being in the family dynamic of hell, which has always been the real kind of feel, as there has not been any other way, even to this day, for the inner child in me to ever feel safe, whenever I’d hear and feel of the oncoming trauma, that is ever so constant, in the everlastingly hell of such chaotic drama, even if it was just so mild, but it’s still big enough to trigger the traumatic loud voices for my inner child.
