Piles

Another junk pile of dissapointment

Laid at my feet.

Clouding my already cloudy horizon 

Battered hopes and bruised ego

caught on shards of fuck you 

I was always kinder gentler and more patient

You said shit is above me,

Above me.

Shit is above me and now you're below me 

What does that say? 

It was too much

to let me hold on to the one shred of feeling

I had left. 

Your casual and complete disregard of me 

A natural state. 

Far too easy for a genuine apology 

Not that it makes any difference  

I've broken every last olive branch 

I cried my last drop of care 

I've bled my last gave a fuck 

Forgotten what feeling felt like 

No heart strings left to cut 

Now there's only fade to numb 

Admiration flipped its guts inside out to disgust

You never did anything I truly asked 

Never truly valued anything I did 

I suffered in silence 

While you slashed my back 

Thrashed my pride and 

Took my love for a ride 

You Stole my highs 

And dug my lows 

Buried me under dissapointments

Your lack of effort gave forewarning 

My tolerance is past worn thin

You've killed me with your tantrumised expectations 

Your betrayal of my trust as easy as breathing 

What else is there but a wasteland of expectant love 

Cruel is too kind a word for your manipulation 

You call it love 

I call it the death of me 

Just a ghost in the shell. 

Bravo, take a bow 

I've come undone

And I dont know how to do my self up

The colours are gone 

And so are the songs 

I dont have it in me to fight any more 

Love died and we just let it go 

And I honestly thought I'd die 

But I don't give a fuck.

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Oh well...

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Spinoza's picture

the essence in four lines

 

I've bled my last – give a fuck

Forgotten what feeling felt like

No heart strings left to cut

Now there's only fade to numb

 

This – this is the brilliant heart of it.

 

These four lines are the perfect poem, just by themselves.

 

 

 

 

SSmoothie's picture

Truth

Ill post it with a little re gig just for your great idea. Thanks my friend! Hugss 


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

patriciajj's picture

Feeling this! It must have

Feeling this! It must have felt like an enormous weight being lifted as you wrote this. Sometimes we need such catharsis and it helps others who can relate feel less alone.

 

And it sounds like you’re much better off with the "pile" out of the way.

 

Love and Light and every happiness to you, my gifted friend.

SSmoothie's picture

Love (its complicated)

Deep hurt only comes from deep love and comitment. Catharsis is right on the money. There's more to come im sure but the focus has shifted there is another c*nt on the horizon. Thankfully appreciation is also agood habit  i need more good habits and to take note way more often of the beautiful moments i have killed and could kill... family is a tough gig. That's why it's worth it. Lobe and blessingss be reading you soonxx


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."