I Want

I want to comfort you

When you start to cry

I want to hold you close

And wipe every tear from your eye

I want to be there

When everyone else has turned away

I want to be the only one

Able to turn your night into day

I want to take back

Everything I've done wrong

I just want to be there

And hold you all night long

I want to be with you

And watch you soar

I want to help you up

When you can't fly anymore

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Who Am I

Copyright 12/15/00

I was to a child born

On a winter's day

And her heart was torn

As she gave me away.

In desperation, she gave me up

To a loving family. They

That raised me from just a pup

To the person you see today.

Who am I

I need to know.

Am I that woman

From long ago,

Or the product

Of the family that loves me so?

I want to know the why that day

And all that stuff,

That I wasn't a throwaway

And it was done out of love.

I will always have my mom and dad

The ones that adopted me

And if my original parents can't be had

I will just let it be.

They are out there somewhere

This I know

That my biological mom had to care

And had great courage to let me go.

My new folks are really dear

And I try not to wonder

But during that christmas time of year

My mind tends to wander.

I am who I am

Not because life was fair

But because of the adopted fam

And the ones who cared.

I thank you for giving me life

And caring enough to give me away.

Tho, I will wonder about bio dad and wife,

It was my adopted family that guided my way.

In a way I feel sorry for what you did

And it is kind of sad

That you gave away this kid

Lucky was I too get a great mom and dad.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

To children of adopted parents and the adopting parents.

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"Compassionate Libido"

by Jeph Johnson


Her vision fashions rainbows
I have yet to dream,
but when I close my eyes
a darker side's revealed.

Her description (even though
it's best she's never seen
in most of what I write)
provides graceful ordeals.

A "compassionate libido."
(she knows what I mean
and all the truth's I've lied)
tears I've cried she feels.

My wisdom's inapropos
to her seasoning.
I want this poem to epitomize
(besides her face) ideals,

but this isn't how it goes
building self-esteem.
She sent me home to rationalize,
deciding just how she'll

condition and control,
after all my themes
convert the life I fantasize
into a dream that's real

Author's Notes/Comments: 

for Lacey, circa 2001 

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Tell me all about sepia toned days

The afternoons drenched with nostalgia

With dark oak corridors and occupation

Searchlights and bombsquads

Find for us those ultimate moments of heroism

Thjose guitar afternoons,  on the porch by the lake

With cousins and watermelon and lakelight

Clutch her hand sharing popcorn and watch

Spellbound as Norman Bates reminds us of

Our need for a firm grip,  a need for memory

Understanding and compassion

Find for us the image of evolving god

That smile within each of us,  all are free

And widen the space,  carve a niche

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"Poem for Lacey"

by Jeph Johnson


the type of person granting
a warm and tender mercy
unfazed by stereotypes
yet mimicking precisely
previous illusions
(in my head discreetly)
now made more complete
than dreams
seem bona fide

Author's Notes/Comments: 

for Lacey, circa 2001 

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"Twenty Dollars"

by Jeph Johnson


It bothers me
(not out of selfishness)
when a visibly intoxicated man
is handed a twenty-dollar bill
at a restaurant
late at night
by a Christian College couple
studying hard the bible
while the hard-working waiter
(who almost has
his tip money stolen
by said drunk man)
gets two for a tip
(by said Christian College couple)
and they also
leave a tract
leading the way
for if it were out of selfishness
I would have wanted
the waitress to get it

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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sasha is a dog who is friendly to people she knows and shy at times.

for if you were in her position everything is bigger than you are, so be gentle and loving for in her eyes we are thing the pet.

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Take a Look Around

Please, take a minute and take a deep breath,

Look out your window,

And you'll notice that all your pain are gone.

Because I'm there,

Wishing you a goodnite,

With the moon shining so bright.

Stars sing a song for you and me,

Then maybe we can live through the night,

Thinking of no more than what we have.

Life is short,

So enjoy before it dies like the faded photos in your album.

And for as long as you live,


I'm here,

And I love you,

Forever and always.

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"Portrait Tower"

by Jeph Johnson


I long to ease your pain
By gains to my existence
Built as Babel
Scraping the sky
Drawn discreetly
Sketched clandestine
Answering only
With your agony.
To soothe you
Is all I aspire.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

circa 2000 

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