@ 27.055 MHz: Tourist At A Tumulus (Bishonen)

His shirt---with balloon
sleeves; cuffs unbuttoned; untucked

into his "skinny"
jeans---seemed oversized on his

slenderness, but still lovely.

 

Unlike most others,

he declined to wear shoes that

day---as he believed

the tumulus was, still, a

holy site, meant for respect.

 

Grass on the low mound's

slope felt warm beneath his striped

socks' soles:  peaking, he

bared his adolescent feet,

as pleasure surged through old bones.

 

Kyakuchuu

View starward's Full Portfolio
patriciajj's picture

Casually chic with a

Casually chic with a reverence for the immeasurable, the sacred, he is forever young on this little mound of paradise. I love the clever twist of  "as pleasure surged through old bones". 

 

Savvy and precious.  

Starward's picture

Thank you very much for

Thank you very much for that.  Your words gives the poem a validation that I very much appreciate.  I cannot explain why I find Tanka sequences daunting, to an extent.  Your comment makes me feel much better about this one.


Starward

[* /+/ ^]

patriciajj's picture

It takes great skill to

It takes great skill to elegantly compress deep thoughts and images into this form. I admire anyone who can pull it off. This is superb. 

Starward's picture

Thank you.  The Tanka/Kyoka

Thank you.  The Tanka/Kyoka form puts a natural brake, so to speak, on my normal (or, some might say, abnormal) verbosity.  


Starward

[* /+/ ^]

patriciajj's picture

You can't have too many words

You can't have too many words if they're the right words. And you have them in abundance. Perfect description of what these strict forms do.