What a hot mess all of this has become

I crawl out my aching bed

As it begs me not to slither out the door

Another day of coordinated confusion

Greets my gritty eyes

I listen to music about sex until I arrive at class

And then attempt not to dose off

I looked forward to cigarettes

Drugs and booze

Like I used to look forward to field trips


From across the room she's making a face

I've never seen before



That same homeless man is at the store


This time he asks me for two cigarettes


We are too high to be driving

Why are we not slowing down

Something throws me forward 

I wish were home


From across the room she asks for two cigarettes

Driving helpless I've never seen before

I wish


The store she's making

Helpless asks for home

Again two cigarettes


Something throws me

Why are we helpless

Why are we selfish


Room the glass trickles down

On my across skin

Bleeding breathing


Night falls, I go to sleep

Still shaking



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