Love, Pain, and You

I'm sad tonight.

I think I love you but I dont know how

How to love you, or hows its possible.

Something inside me wont allow it

Not with you or anyone.

Its like love is connected with pain

Love is connected with sex.

So when its not that,

When it becomes more than that,

I dont know what to do.

I wish I knew how to love you

I wish I knew how to tell you loved me too

I only know what its like to be used

To be walked on

To be abused.

He never loved me and never cared

We only accept the love we think we deserve

I wanted to deserve more

He never gave it.

I'm scared you wont either.

Will anyone?

When it is given, will I be able to accept it?

Or will I just return to the one

The one thing I've always known

I've always let happen

Pain is mixed with Love

Love mixed me up with you.

And that's why I'm scared.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Too deep to explain, but had to write it. Will it ever be over??

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