I accepted Christ into my life at the age of 9 and chose to walk away from him as a teenager thinking I knew all the answers to everything. I fought against everything that had to do with God and Christianity. It was my way of rebelling, my way of saying that there was not a God and since I was made to go to church every time the doors opened but in my eyes all I saw was hypocrisy I wanted nothing to do with Christ, Christians, Christianity, or God.
In fact I would openly state that had no reason to go to church because all they want is money, no one cares about souls anymore, and even the church I was raised in had 5 offerings per night during a revival but no one could tell you how many souls got saved or filled with the Holy Ghost. In my eyes they could care less.
Therefore with a passion for running away from God; I did so with a vengeance.
During the early part of my adult life I proudly served my country both on foreign and domestic soil. While I was on active duty I was assaulted several times, which caused me to become bitter, hard, emotionally shut down, keeping everyone away, and truly believing that if there was a God then he wouldn’t allow such things to happen.
There are so many things that God has brought me through or is helping me with… abusive relationships, cults, child birth, the death of a child, homelessness, a coma, transportation, employment, suicide attempts, mental health issues, even just daily walking with him.
One such time was when I was recruited into the Church of Scientology cult. It was at a time in which by being part of it my sister and I became homeless, in every sense of the word. Where I went from a size 14 to a size 6 because to just merely survive we drank coffee and ate sugar cubes. We lost our place to live and ended up staying in the church only to be told that we couldn’t stay there but we were still required by contracts to be staff. Late one night I prayed, “Lord get me out of this and I’ll never do it again.” The answer came, the way is already made. I called our father and he picked us up, even going as far at one point of telling the church never to call his house again. Earlier this year I was hospitalized due to suicidal ideation. During my hospitalization I abruptly became homeless. I was told by the staff at the Veterans hospital that they were going to transfer me some place else. As always in my life my family went to their knees in prayer. The prayer, a simple one, please send her home. The call came from my doctors, if your family can help take care of you, you may go home.
On April 11th of this year two things happened. The first thing is that I came home, but the most outstanding thing is I accepted Christ into my heart and my life again. There was no church, no people telling me about my past, or sins I had committed, just me in my brokenness giving myself back to my creator and him loving me enough to take me back.